Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
