Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
