just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
