need another drink. this is the easiest way
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
