Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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