Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize