Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
