I hate your face
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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