If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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