goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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