I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
