maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Houston, we have a squirter
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize