his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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