then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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