no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
me + whiskey = a bad person
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize