He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
