girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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