I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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