Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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