I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
