Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
