Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
