Screwed.edu
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
