You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
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