he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
