my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
