So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
