Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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