whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
