Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
