I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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