seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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