3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
