he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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