i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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