You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
