Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
