I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
