this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize