I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
