3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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