Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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