just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
