Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
