So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
