In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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