so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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