Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize