Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
