hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
