Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
