I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
