She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize