it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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