Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
