I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
