My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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