this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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