Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
