his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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