also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
