..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize