I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
