Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(343): View more from Ontario

I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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(314): View more from Missouri

shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....

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(714): View more from California

There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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(678): View more from Georgia

He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.

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