I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
