Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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