I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
