Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
