sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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