We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
