I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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