Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
