No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
