im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
