Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
