Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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