Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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