Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
