When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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