"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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