Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
