Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
