Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
