i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
